Common Voice Problems, and How to Work With Each One

Why does my voice shake when I’m nervous? Why can’t I reach the high notes? Why does my throat get so dry when I sing? Why do I sound like a completely different person on the phone to my mother?

If one of those made you wince a little, this page is for you. Every one of these common voice problems has a gentle way through, and by the end you’ll know what’s usually going on underneath yours and how to start working with it today.

People ask me about their voices all the time, after classes, in circles and in sessions. Each person usually asks as if they’re the only one. They never are!

If you’ve tried the lessons, the tea with honey and the exercises from YouTube, and the same problem keeps coming back, it’s usually because your voice is listening to how safe your body feels. The insight lives in your head. The habit lives in your body. So every way through below starts with your breath and your body, and then moves to your notes and your words.

Which of these sounds like you?

Your voice has a go-to way of protecting you, and it often shows up as one of these. Pick the one that feels most familiar and jump straight to it.

• My mind goes blank when I’m put on the spot. That’s the freeze response. Start with freezing when you’re called on.
• I talk too fast and rush past what I mean. That’s the flight response. Start with talking too fast.
• My voice pushes and strains, especially up high. Bracing and effort take over. Start with reaching the high notes.
• I start with sorry and end on a question. That’s the pleasing voice, the fawn response. Start with upspeak and an apologetic tone.

Singing and teaching voices get their own sections too: a voice that shakes when you’re nervous, a dry throat after singing, a voice that changes around certain people and hoarseness after long teaching days.

A few things hold true for all of them. Your voice lives in your body, and it’s always listening to how safe you feel. So the work starts with safety in the body, then the breath, then sound. My favourite reminder is to relax into sound instead of reaching for it. And the aim is to build: more strength, more resilience, more range, and more capacity for your voice to come with you into every part of your life.

1. Your voice goes quiet or shaky when you’re nervous

What’s going on. When your nervous system senses pressure, your breath moves up high into your chest and gets shallow, and your throat and jaw tighten. There’s less steady air under your voice, and adrenaline adds a tremble. Going quiet is protection, and I wrote about the four ways a voice protects you in Trauma and the Voice. One thing I notice often is a voice that’s full and warm about work or other people, then drops and softens the moment the subject turns to the person’s own feelings.

How to work with it. Before you speak, lengthen your exhale: in for four, out for six or eight. Feel your feet on the floor. Hum quietly with a hand on your chest for thirty seconds before the call or the meeting. Then build capacity in small steps, first speaking with one safe person, then a few. A shaky voice is allowed. Each time your body speaks and stays safe, it gets a little steadier.

2. You can’t reach the high notes, or you strain

What’s going on. To sing higher, your vocal folds stretch longer and thinner and vibrate faster. Most of us try to carry our heavy, speaking-style voice up with more volume and effort, and the chin lifts, the jaw clenches and the throat squeezes. A high note can also feel like a small risk, so the body braces.

How to work with it. Warm up from the comfortable middle of your range and move up slowly. Use gentle sirens on “ng” or “oo”, and lip trills. Sing high passages lighter and quieter first, and let your voice change colour as it climbs. Range expands over weeks, one easy note at a time. If singing hurts, or you notice hoarseness or any loss of range lasting more than two or three weeks, please see an ENT doctor or a speech therapist who specialises in voice.

3. Your throat gets dry and you cough after singing

What’s going on. A student asked me this recently, and it’s so common. Fast vibration and lots of airflow can dry the thin, moist layer that helps your vocal folds move smoothly. Breathing through your mouth, not drinking enough water (the heat here in Bali and air conditioning both dry you out), singing louder or longer than you need to, and clearing your throat all add to it.

How to work with it. Drink water steadily for hours before you sing, and breathe in some warm steam. Breathe through your nose when you can. Take short vocal rests. Try humming through a straw to warm up. When the tickle comes, take a sip or a gentle swallow and let the clearing go. Please see an ENT doctor or a voice-specialised speech therapist if hoarseness, pain or loss of range lasts more than two or three weeks, and go straight away if you ever see blood or lose your voice suddenly.

4. Your voice changes around certain people

What’s going on. Your nervous system reads every room. Around family, a careful, smaller voice from long ago can switch back on. With someone in authority, or when you’re receiving feedback, you might scramble or get defensive. On camera, a voice that’s lively in person can go flat. And many teachers and healers find their voice flows freely when it’s helping someone else, then stalls when it’s time to express themselves.

How to work with it. Start by noticing, with gentle curiosity. Make a little map of where your voice feels freest and where it feels smallest. Then bring one quality from your freest voice into a harder room: a soft jaw, a hum beforehand, a slow breath. A phrase I love to offer here is “I am safe to soften. I am safe to express.”

5. You talk too fast

What’s going on. This is the rushed voice, the flight response. The body feels urgency, so the words try to outrun the discomfort. Often it comes with scanning the room and checking every word as it leaves your mouth, and it’s exhausting.

How to work with it. Ground through your feet. Take slow breaths through your nose. Build pauses in on purpose: finish a sentence, breathe, then begin the next one. A long “sss” exhale before you start is lovely. For practice, read one paragraph out loud at half speed each day. And learn your early signs, so you catch the rush as it begins.

6. Upspeak and an apologetic tone

What’s going on. This is the pleasing voice. Statements rise at the end like questions, sentences start with “sorry” or “I just”, and your tone softens so nobody could possibly disagree. It keeps connection feeling safe, and it costs you your own expression. The worthiness wound often sits right underneath it.

How to work with it. Practice simple truth statements, letting the pitch come down at the end. Hum low in your chest to feel your own resonance, and sit or stand tall. Say one grounded sentence a day with no “sorry” in front of it and no laugh after it. For one day, count how many times you apologise. Awareness alone starts to shift it.

7. You freeze when you’re called on

What’s going on. So many people find their voice works when they choose the moment to speak, and closes when they’re picked, put on the spot or feel assessed. The mind goes blank, the throat tightens and perfectionism rushes in. It’s the freeze response, and it’s intelligent protection.

How to work with it. Warm your body before group settings with a little movement, so it’s less likely to lock. When you’re called on, give yourself one breath and a simple phrase like “Let me take a breath with that.” Practice being put on the spot in low-stakes ways, with a friend who asks you surprise questions. Keep the doses small, and celebrate every one.

8. Hoarseness after long teaching days

What’s going on. Teachers, coaches and space holders use their voices for hours, often over music or background noise, pushing from the throat, with little water and no rest. A voice that’s always in service rarely gets a warm-up or a break.

How to work with it. Warm up for a few minutes before you teach, with hums and lip trills. Let your breath carry the sound and feel the buzz in your face, so the throat does less of the work. Turn the music down so you can speak at a comfortable volume, and use a microphone in a big room. Build quiet moments into your class, sip water between sections, and breathe in warm steam afterwards. If hoarseness lasts more than two or three weeks, or you notice pain, blood or sudden voice loss, please see an ENT doctor or a voice-specialised speech therapist.

Building a stronger, more resilient voice

Every one of these gets easier the same way: gentle practice, little and often, in a body that feels safe enough to try. Strength grows through use. Range grows as your body trusts it’s allowed to go there. Capacity grows each time you let a little more of yourself be heard and nothing bad happens. That’s what I mean by embodied resonance: a voice that feels at home in your body, wherever you are.

It’s one of my favourite things to remind people: you find your voice by using it.

If you’d love to work on your voice with me, Rising Resonance is my online 1:1 mentorship: six weeks, $1,497, where we find your patterns together and build strength, range and capacity at a pace your nervous system can say yes to.

About Francie

Francie La Flow is a voice healer, somatic guide and bhakti musician based in Ubud, Bali. For more than 15 years she has helped people come home to their voices through yoga, sound, singing circles, retreats and 1:1 sessions.